Is my fear any less than your fear?
It is one thing to empathize with people with who you can relate, or with people who can effectively communicate their fears and feelings. But to empathize with two and three-year-old children, with respect, and sincerity takes a genius - a genius of empathy. Fred Rogers was exactly that, a genius of empathy.
He treated all their fears and feelings with respect; even the ones that may seem unreasonable to adults - like the fear of going down the bathtub drain. He wrote a song on this one:
"You can never go down,
Can never go down,
Can never go down the drain.
You can never go down,
Can never go down,
Can never go down the drain.
You’re bigger than the water,
You’re bigger than the soap,
You’re much bigger than all the bubbles
And bigger than your telescope, so you see…
You can never go down,
Can never go down,
Can never go down the drain.
You can never go down,
Can never go down,
Can never go down the drain.
The rain my go down,
But you can’t go down,
You’re bigger than any bathroom drain.
You can never go down,
Can never go down,
Can never go down the drain."
Notice how he never says or hints "this is silly", or "you are supposed to be brave, not scared". Doesn't even playfully shame them for being the "scared type" or with statements like "you are not a baby, you are a big girl now".
Maybe he believed you could never make a child brave by shaming her for being afraid of something, and that shaming anyone only teaches them to hide their fears and fake being brave. Or maybe he thought children needed to be treated well now - in their childhood, because they deserve it, not because we believe it will make them some ideal adults in the future. Or maybe, he simply thought that is the right thing to do. I will never know. For, he was not the person who spent much time explaining how other people got it wrong, and he got it right, or why he did what he did. He simply practiced his philosophy.
Have you ever dismissed someone's fear as irrational or silly? I have, and I still do, but I am slowly trying not to.
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