When a loved one is seriously ill, is it possible to care for them without worrying too much? I am not talking about a Buddha-like detachment from feelings. If we truly care about them, some level of worry is unavoidable, in fact, shouldn't be avoided. Being sad for another person's suffering, and knowing that someone cries for your suffering, is one of the beauties of a relationship. It is a way to tell them that you share their pain.

When someone in a family is fighting a serious illness, the rest of the family can't go about their life as usual and act as if nothing happened. Their lives have changed for the time being, or maybe forever. Everyone is worried about what could happen. But somehow, few in the family radiate quiet strength and calmness, while others radiate fear and anxiety. The calm, strong people are not perfect. They do break down every now and then, but for the most part, they are solid. What effect does each of these types have? Claiming that the strong ones help in faster recovery, or that the fearful family members delay or harm recovery can only be wishful thinking - there are too many factors involved. But I think the calm, strong ones alleviate suffering and calm down not only the sick person but also the rest of the family, while the other type adds to the suffering.